Monday, May 11, 2009

Your Turn

OK, in an effort to convince myself that I'm not crazy, here's a question for you, gentle reader:

If you're in a committed relationship, how did you know he/she was right for you? How long did it take? How can you tell that it will work? More importantly, since I like things that are all about me: Would I be able to tell or would I be too crazy to decide?

That is all. Now write your essays. See you in the comments.


Jill said...

It should be easy, that's the simplest way I can put it. I often found myself waiting for it to get difficult or challenging, to feel like I had to fight for this thing that was so worthwhile, but it never did, really. Sure, we hit speed bumps along the way but nothing ever came close to being a deal-breaker.
Now, I never approached the relationship from the standpoint of, "Is this going to be The One?" I never thought like that and maybe that's where the advantage is, I don't know. I guess I remember thinking, "Wow, this is going too well too fast," but it was impossible to slow it down.
I know it's hard, Al, but just try to relax, go with the flow, and eventually you'll just know.

OneN said...

I knew instantly that I wanted to explore something with Jenn. I didn't care if I only got two weeks out of it, I just wanted to be in the moment and let the rest take care of itself. And yes it is just easy, there isn't a ton of effort in "making it work". Yes we have struggles, but they are caused by things outside our core relationship, and through all that I know I love her, it's just hard sometimes to find the time to be with her. Don't think about it so much, just let things happen, one day of happiness is worth the risk. Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and enjoy the moment. The true test would be to bring him over for dinner to see how Cat and Finn react to him, they are kind of like canaries in a coal mine, they don't like just anyone...but they sure love you!

Peace Turkey said...

I hated when couples would tell me "We just knew" when I asked how they knew they were it for each other. But, being one of those people myself now, it's true. It pains me to say it, but you do just know.

I had my "oh my god this is moving too fast" thoughts and my "oh my god I can't believe I slept with him already" thoughts.

But Jason and I knew each other for 4 months before we finally went out, and literally we've been together in a committed relationship since our first date. It'll be a year in July.

I've been through my share of people I've dated where I felt like I was forcing something to happen or would end up playing games and having that "should I call him? Why hasn't he called me? Where is he?" argument with myself. When the person you're with is the right person, you literally stop worrying where they are and what they're doing, because you know all of that. He'll never disappear on you, he'll never not call you, he'll never flake out on you and not show up somewhere he was supposed to.

I guess this is all to say that when it's the right one and the relationship is committed, it just happens on its own and the game playing stops (or never starts at all, to be honest.) Yes, shit will happen, but like OneN said, the shit that happens are external life things that are not, at the end of the day, a part of your actual relationship.

To sum up in one sentence: It's not supposed to be hard - it just happens naturally.