Sunday, May 24, 2009

My Big Ol' Melon

When I was a baby, for some reason the doctors measured my head circumference, and concluded that I either had water on the brain or an enormous head. This prompted my entire extended family to wrap tape measures around their noggins, and conclude that my enormous head was completely within the range of normal for our family.

Of course, big-headedness has another meaning, and if you didn't know me very well you might assume that while it's undeniable that I literally have a big head, in the figurative sense, perhaps my head is not so very large. I'm shy, so you might think I'm modest. This is not true. Underneath my quiet exterior (and occasional bouts of crippling self-doubt), I have a pretty high opinion of myself.

Take Poland, for example. I was confident that I'd get that job, and all I had to do was apply for it and then decide whether I wanted it. Or take the blind date I went on this weekend. I just assumed he'd like me, because I'm wonderful, so I spent the whole date trying to decide whether I liked him, which is why it was such a surprise when he didn't try to arrange another meeting with me. Is is possible? Am I not as desirable a job candidate as I think I am? Could a nerdy man really meet me and not adore me? What is happening to this world?

I know. I'm as flabbergasted as you are. Whatever. I'll just go admire myself in the mirror until the world comes to its senses.

4 comments:

cathy said...

Amadeus also had some big ol' melon issues this weekend. Namely, his melon was causing issues with the cap and tassel. And, in fact, it was fun and games until he almost lost an eye. Though the mental picture I am having of GC Beau with a piratey eye-patch is pretty hi-larious.
We missed you this weekend. I am still petitioning for a Alex for Beau trade...your family and I are in negotiations. :)

Alex said...

Yeah, those caps are not made for the likes of us. Glad he didn't lose an eye, but it would have totally matched his short finger.

Hmm...does Denver have an international school with class sizes around ten?

cathy said...

I can offer you Montessori schools and a dearth of math teachers. Oh and a tall lanky astrophysicist type ultimate player. And homemade dumplings and lemon bars.
Just talk to Jimmy and Rachael.

OneN said...

I used to think I had a big head...until I shaved my hair and discovered that it was really just my hair that made my head seem so big. Then I moved in with Jenn and her ego took over the head room in the house.