Thursday, November 13, 2008

How to Feel Old

First, go to your college alumni happy hour, even though you graduated thirteen years ago. Second, try not to make eye contact with the waitress, so you don't get any food or drink for at least half an hour. This will leave you with nothing to do with your hands. Third, arrive late, so there is no more space at the table, and you have to stand awkwardly at the elbows of some young perky alums who are complaining about nearing thirty, and who won't turn around and introduce themselves to you. Finally, be so introverted that you can't find a way to interrupt them to introduce yourself to them.

It wouldn't have been worth paying for parking, but I "accidentally" ate one of the youngster's kobe beef sandwiches. Oops. Except for being tender and delicious, it sure looked like my burger...

3 comments:

OneN said...

Another way to feel old is to try to keep up with almost three year olds at almost 40 years old. It gets harder and harder to get up off the floor after helping to tie a shoe, or find the "apa" (which is Swedish for monkey). That will leave you feeling really old...and tired.

Alex said...

I'd chase after almost-three-year-olds and give your old knees a break if you'd only ask me to babysit ever.

Alex said...

Although apparently I'm going to have to study up on my Swedish if I ever get to babysit again...